it was like eating out sand paper
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
