So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
