So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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