That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
