Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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