i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
