It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
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Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
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but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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