So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
