I heard we made out
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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