also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
