Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize