Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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