Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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