There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
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She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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