We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
