no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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