It's like God shit irony all over that family
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
