Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Someone shit on the floor
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
People with herpes should wear stickers.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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