Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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