Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
