Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
