his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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