Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
