I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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