You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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