youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
