The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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