Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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