I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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