Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
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Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
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HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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