Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
