What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
