He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I am mentally ready for anal.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
