Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
