I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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