Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
