I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
