with your own penis?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
