i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
