fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
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I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
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he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize