i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize