He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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