Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
