i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
