i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
