She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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