Your tits are I can't wait for
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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