I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
