so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You need a sexual gate keeper
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
