oh god the rape fog is back!
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
