Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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