You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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