Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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