I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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