brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
