He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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