:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
