So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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