I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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