Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
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