My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
