i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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