im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
