You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
