That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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