Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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