Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
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Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
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From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize