when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize